RESPONSE: As I am sure you already know, this is a very loaded question. I will have to break your very large question down into a few small parts in order to do so. Now, before I start, I don't mean to disappoint you, but you should know that it is not my intention to use Becauseitstrue.com to take a stance on one side of the debate concerning the nature of predestination and free will (though people will inevitably draw conclusions based on the way I answer certain other questions). However, there are still a few things that I think I can contribute the discussion. In my observation, opposing sides are prone to talking past one another on this issue. Instead of listening to the other side, we are often guilty of reloading for our next shot while the other person is firing off his/her arguments. Thus, I prefer to approach this issue by looking at the things that both sides can agree on.
First of all, you said: "I don't know if I fully believe predestination or not." While I know that you are using the word predestination to designate a particular understanding of the doctrine, it is important to recognize that predestination is a biblical concept. There is little disagreement there. Consider just a few verses:
- Acts 4:28, "to do whatever Your hand and purpose predestined to occur."
- Rom. 8:29, "For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first-born among many brethren;
- Rom. 8:30, "and whom He predestined, these He also called; and whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified."
- Eph. 1:4,"He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him."
- Eph. 1:5, "He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will."
- Eph. 1:11, "also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will."
The point of contention is how one understands the nature of predestination. The question is not really whether or not God predestines some for salvation, but: in what way does God predestine? Some say that God alone determines the person's eternal destiny. Critics argue that this strips human beings of their free will. However, many proponents of this position will maintain a view of human freedom that is compatible with determinism (people freely do what they want, but they do not want God unless He acts to incline their will towards Him). On the opposite end, there are those who say that God, knowing what the person will freely choose with regards to his/her eternal destiny, concurs with that person's future decision. Critics argue that such a view strips God of His sovereignty. However, proponents of this position maintain that the person's predestination is dependent upon God's sovereign decision to allow history to play out in the manner that He foreknew. Notice that both sides affirm the concepts of God's sovereignty, human freedom, and predestination, but they differ on how they understand them.
You also asked: "Why would God not even give certain people a fighting chance if he is supposed to love us?" While this question is generally raised in attempt to expose a weakness in the view that God determines each person's eternal destiny, I think it actually raises another issue that both sides can agree on. The question presupposes that God is obligated to offer everyone salvation--to give them a "fighting chance." But I think that both sides can agree that is false. God is not obligated to offer salvation to anyone. He does not offer it to fallen angels, and He does not have to offer it to fallen humans. Thus, the question is not what God should do, but what He would do. You rightly include that in your question when you say "If He is supposed to love us." Phrased this way, the question (whether correctly or incorrectly) anticipates that it would be in keeping with God's loving character to offer salvation to all. Here again, both sides agree that God's character is perfectly just, gracious, and loving. One side simply says that God displays His love by saving some by grace and His justice by condemning some (both sides agree that all are guilty), while the other side says that God's grace and love are displayed by offering salvation to all and His justice by condemning those who reject it.
As to the questions you raise concerning free will, it is important to recognize that there are more views on the table than simply "we have it" or "we don't." There are some who say that we have freedom in some areas, but not in matters of salvation. There are others say that we are free with regards to salvation, but not necessarily in all circumstances. More fundamentally, there is debate about what exactly constitutes free will. Some say that as long as we do what we want, then we are free. Others say that we must have the freedom to do otherwise in any situation in order to be truly free. The way a person understands the nature of freedom will have a lot to do with how he/she understands the predestination/free-will issue and vice versa.
Finally, you asked, "even if we do have free will then it isn't truly free will because God knows all and he knows what decision you will make in the end so being that he knows 100% what choice you will make then you don't really truly have free will because since he knows, it's predestined isn't it?" I would point you to a previous response that I wrote concerning this question in an article called "Did God Deliberately Set Us Up for Failure?". You can find that article here.